'Fifteen cent’ Fahour hits the jackpot

“You should feel part of the family.” That was the take home message from CEO Ahmed Fahour on his recent visit to our Australia Post workplace.

After his pre-Christmas EBA gesture of a 15c meal allowance, I’m kinda glad I’m not part of his real family. I imagine Ahmed had a roast turkey with all the trimmings while his wife and kids shared a potato.

Maybe I’m being unfair. Maybe money’s a little tight in the Australia Post household. After all, there was only enough cash for papa Ahmed to give the workforce a 1.5 percent pay increase last year.

Or maybe that’s because he hogged it all when his salary was bumped up 66 percent to $4.8 million.

His talk wasn’t all about family. There were a bunch of the usual corporate buzzwords and some talk about challenges (for us to work harder) and opportunities (for Ahmed to make more money).

There was some straight shooting honesty though. “I’m where I am today”, he said, “because I can stand on the shoulders of all of you.”

“Thanks mate”, I thought. “Can you take some of that cash out of your pockets before you hop up again? My back is getting pretty sore.”

He finished his pep talk with a few questions from us less important members of the Australia Post family. Luckily I didn’t put up my hand as all I could think to ask was, “What did the five fingers say to the face?”