Terror threat grows under his rule, says Abbott
It’s becoming easier for terrorists to strike in Australia. I wouldn’t have believed it, if I hadn’t heard it from Tony Abbott himself.
Just the other day, Abbott told parliament, “All you need to be a terrorist is a knife, a flag, a camera phone and a victim.”
But last September, he warned us that the requirements for terrorhood were a “knife, iPhone and a victim”.
For obvious reasons – the changes reflect badly on the government – no minister or official statement has called attention to the differences in the two statements.
Both include a knife and a victim. But knives and potential victims are always available. If we leave those aside, the requirements for being a terrorist in Australia have changed, in only five months, from an iPhone to a flag and a camera phone. That can only mean that, under the Abbott government, it has become easier to become a terrorist.
Think about it: previously, to become a terrorist, you needed an iPhone. I can’t find any reliable statistics on iPhone penetration of the Australian market, but I’m sure it’s not universal. I don’t have one, and when I read Tony’s statement, I was relieved to learn I was excluded from the list of terrorist suspects.
Now, to be a terrorist, the defining requirements are only a flag and a camera phone. Anyone can make a flag out of an old piece of cloth. So the only real change in the entry requirements to terrorism central is from an iPhone to a camera phone.
A few weeks ago, my old cheap hand phone, which didn’t have a camera, was stolen by somebody too stupid to realise how worthless it was – or so I thought. When I tried to replace it, I was told the camera-less product was more expensive, because it was an “antique”. I bought the cheaper camera phone.
I guess that puts me back on the potential terrorist list, along with just about every other Australian over the age of 10. Only the phone thief is innocent, until he or she sells my phone and uses part of the proceeds to buy a camera phone.
But, by the way: we know Tony Abbott has a flag. Doesn’t he also have a camera phone?
